The crisis in men and male leadership everyone is misdiagnosing, and why our Mission is unique
I believe most people are obsessed with the wrong problems, thinking men and male leaders are collapsing due to the weight of mental health struggles, confused masculinity, loneliness, or burnout.
It’s true that these are all major issues that are clearly having a major impact, and shouldn’t be under-appreciated or overlooked in any way. But what strikes me most is the nature of the beliefs around what causes them in the first place, and the biggest risks to look out for moving forwards.
On an organisational level, the mainstream view seems to indicate a belief that their biggest risks come from toxic leaders, misconduct, or exhausted teams as let’s be honest here, burnout and disengagement stats are seriously excessive combined with high profile reputational storms in recent years or the last decade. We need only look to this year’s ex-BBC MasterChef Presenter and celebrity Gregg Wallace here in the UK, who was sacked (rightfully) in relation to 45 upheld claims that included ‘one of unwelcome physical contact and three of being in a state of undress. Most related to inappropriate sexual language and humour, and also culturally insensitive or racist comments.’
But seriously, how did we get here, where these situations and behaviours cannot be spotted sooner and prevented or managed?
Everyone is staring at the smoke, but nobody is looking at the fire.
Across conversations I have as a Leadership & Executive Coach with all manners of leaders and professionals, HR directors, academics and entire teams, one hidden mechanism keeps showing up behind every struggle, conflict, and quiet collapse…
Instead of assuming the reason for the struggle is that men and male leaders are emotionally ill-equipped, have toxic attitudes, or unable to cope,
I believe the real issue sits somewhere far messier and in a more practical space.
At its heart, men are struggling to express themselves in ways that create clarity, connection, and alignment.
This of course is in part due to a lack of situational and self-awareness, but there is much more to it than that.
They are failing because they can’t express what’s happening inside in a way that aligns their behaviour with what they stand for as well as with the surrounding culture. Consistently.
That for me is the real crisis. And I’ve named this broader problem The Expression Gap (more on this in my previous Blog post).
Below are three disruptive insights that I’ve distilled from my coaching work, which I intend to leverage to lead meaningful change and hopefully help contribute to defining a new era for male leadership as well as men in society as a whole. Because the feedback I’m getting is that we need this.
1. A global social mission
The real crisis of men isn’t mental health, masculinity, loneliness or burnout,
it’s the Expression Gap.
The public narrative keeps shouting that men are struggling because:
mental health is deteriorating
masculinity is broken or outdated
loneliness is an epidemic
burnout is the new normal
These are the symptoms, not the cause. The deeper issue is this:
Men don’t know how to translate inner truth → outer expression.
So they:
say they’re fine while quietly drowning
avoid the conversations that matter most
lead through performance instead of presence
suppress needs, opinions, boundaries, or emotional signals
break connection with partners, families, colleagues, and themselves
This internal misalignment between what a man feels, what he thinks, and what he expresses is the real point of failure.
Men are unsupported expressively. Until the time we learn how to confidently express with integrity in a way that feels safe, nothing will change.
2. Your edge and leadership advantage
The next strategic and competitive edge in male leadership isn’t EQ emotional intelligence, it’s now XQ Expressive Intelligence.
EQ was revolutionary, it taught awareness, empathy, and emotional understanding as well as emotional self-expression. It was and still is great, a crucial piece of the puzzle!
But emotional awareness doesn’t always change behaviour.
Not under pressure or in conflict
Not when we are struggling to keep up with complex environmental changes (societal, cultural, organisational etc)
Not when stakes are high.
Modern authentic leadership demands:
clarity under pressure
emotional regulation without emotional suppression
confident communication that lands cleanly
honest expression without oversharing
boundaries without shutdown
repair after rupture
trust - influence without ego
This is where XQ Expressive Intelligence becomes the new differentiator.
XQ Expressive Intelligence is the integration layer for how we express our emotional intelligence as well as all other capabilities!
Turning self-awareness into behaviour that builds trust, presence, and credibility.
And the research proves this shift:
Gallup (2023): 70% of team engagement comes directly from manager behaviour.
McKinsey (2023): burnout is driven primarily by toxic or inconsistent leadership behaviours, not workload.
Edelman Trust Barometer (2024): trust rises or falls based on leadership communication.
These aren’t emotional problems. These are expression problems.
EQ explains the feelings in the moment, but XQ Expressive Intelligence delivers the behaviour and the man’s helpful, authentic, inner truth.
And that’s what men are missing.
3. The organisational risk nobody is naming
Everyone thinks organisational risk comes from toxic leaders and burnout.
The real risk is misaligned leaders who can’t express consistently - especially under pressure.
XQ Expressive Intelligence closes that gap, enabling expression with integrity that protects your culture, trust, and performance.
This is the blind spot most HR, People, Talent, and L&D teams haven’t been able to articulate.
Organisations don’t fall apart because of the obvious stuff e.g. the headline-making scandals or formal grievances. They crumble because of the micro-misalignment leaders create every day:
mixed messages
tension left unspoken
defensiveness in hard conversations
emotional shutdown under pressure
values that are said but not lived
inconsistency between intention and behaviour
This quiet misalignment is far more dangerous than overt toxicity.
And B2B research backs this to the core:
Gartner (2024): the #1 HR priority is improving leader and manager effectiveness.
PwC Global Risk Survey (2023): culture and behaviour are now top emerging risks.
CIPD (2023): behavioural issues and conflict are rising in UK workplaces.
Deloitte (2023–24): trust is now a business imperative, not a “soft” metric.
These reports are not describing bad leaders, they’re describing misaligned leaders.
Not villains, but men who can’t express consistently, especially under pressure.
That is the Expression Gap at scale, and XQ is the capability that closes it.
4. The Bridge:
One Skill - three levels of impact
Why do these three insights matter?
Because the Expression Gap isn’t just a personal issue, relationship issue or organisational issue.
It’s all three at once.
Individually (and socially) - it blocks confidence, honesty, identity, and connection.
Professionally (inc. leadership) - it blocks trust, influence, and leadership presence.
Organisationally - it blocks culture, alignment, and performance.
One skill-based capability solves all three: XQ Expressive Intelligence.
Because when leaders can express with integrity:
trust stabilises
culture strengthens
performance becomes predictable
conflict becomes productive
relationships deepen
teams engage and support one another
burnout decreases
clarity rises
Expressive integrity is the new foundation of modern authentic leadership.
5. The Stakes: Why XQ matters now
The world is changing faster than most organisations can adapt. We’re entering an era where:
behaviour is scrutinised in real time
trust is fragile
misalignment is expensive
silence is interpreted as risk
communication is reputation
leaders are expected to be human and high-performing
emotional intelligence is no longer enough
Leadership that struggles to keep up, or can’t express under pressure collapses under pressure.
This isn’t about being softer or more emotional (although still highly valued), it’s about being aligned, consistent, clear, and courageous -
even when things get difficult.
Here we go, I’m going to say it…
EQ was the last revolution, I believe XQ Expressive Intelligence can be the next.
6. Want to find out more?
I see a future of male leadership which won’t be defined by over toughness, vulnerability, or charisma.
It will be defined by expressive integrity, the ability to express consistently, clearly, and honestly in the moments that matter most.
If you want to explore your own personal ability for self-expression and benchmark yourself, or find out how XQ Expressive Intelligence can transform your leadership, your team, or your organisation… this is the moment to step into the next era.
To find out more, take our Free xQ Scorecard here.
Thanks for reading, I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments and feedback!
